She Wants A Man

She wants a man with very big hands,

Rugged, a pure thoroughbred.

But who only eats organic

And cries at Titanic

And lets Chihuahuas sleep in their bed.

She wants a man like Superman

To save her from girls who are bitchy.

With muscles galore

A soft spot for Dior

And a tattoo of big Lionel Richie.

She wants a man with an all-over tan

Who’ll never grow into a grump.

Handsome and clever

Who’ll love her forever

And won’t mind when she gets a bit plump.

The perfect man (with adequate hands)

Enters and asks ‘Can I kiss you?’

She’ll politely refuse

Because of his shoes

Who knew that this too was an issue?