top of page
Search

She Wants A Man

She wants a man with very big hands,

Rugged, a pure thoroughbred.

But who only eats organic

And cries at Titanic

And lets Chihuahuas sleep in their bed.

She wants a man like Superman

To save her from girls who are bitchy.

With muscles galore

A soft spot for Dior

And a tattoo of big Lionel Richie.

She wants a man with an all-over tan

Who’ll never grow into a grump.

Handsome and clever

Who’ll love her forever

And won’t mind when she gets a bit plump.

The perfect man (with adequate hands)

Enters and asks ‘Can I kiss you?’

She’ll politely refuse

Because of his shoes

Who knew that this too was an issue?

Recent Posts

See All

The Cock and Balls of Karlheinz Kunkel

As with many teenage boys, drawing a penis and testicles on whichever surface opportunely presented itself was a staple pastime for Karlheinz Kunkel. But whilst the pork swords his friends drew were f

Have A Break. Have A Breaking Point.

The only thing Arnold hated more than everything else was the way Derek ate Kit-Kats. Arnold was convinced that Kit-Kat protocol - nay, Kit-Kat duty - was a human knowledge so innate that it never a

Poem for Competition

I come from a family of brilliant poems Inspirational, slick, well-versed. But none of them ever won a thing, Perhaps I’ll be the first. In a previous attempt at a poetry comp Where the theme was ‘i

bottom of page