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A little blog
of bits and bobs.
As a brand copywriter, who HAS to write every day, I’ve always admired those who choose to share their personal words with the world. I less admire those who shoot them down, just because they can.
Luckily, ‘bad’ writing can be just as interesting as the 'good' stuff. It’s all subjective anyway, so use your words carefully. Or not.
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The Cock and Balls of Karlheinz Kunkel
As with many teenage boys, drawing a penis and testicles on whichever surface opportunely presented itself was a staple pastime for...
Have A Break. Have A Breaking Point.
The only thing Arnold hated more than everything else was the way Derek ate Kit-Kats. Arnold was convinced that Kit-Kat protocol - nay,...
Poem for Competition
I come from a family of brilliant poems Inspirational, slick, well-versed. But none of them ever won a thing, Perhaps I’ll be the first. ...
Freedom
He parks his undernourished arse at the foot of the bed; gently, so as not to disturb the patient. “Hello, Mum. Sorry I’ve not visited...
Bacon Sandwich
Elisa’s cloud hadn’t shifted all week, and as she awoke to have her eyes slapped by the sunlight that glared through tattered curtains,...
The Tombstone Is Ready. Bring God To Me.
In the darkest corner of the deserted fifth-storey car park at the Rosemount Shopping Centre, there stood four men. Well, three stood....
Jean
Jean poked the left eyeball of her Jack Russell. Nothing. As dogs go, Herbie wasn’t the brightest, but reacting to a poke in the eyeball...
The Mugshot Man
His image adorns the corner of the waiting-room TV A violent schizophrenic man; now an escapee. The waiting crowd begin to judge,...
Reflection
In mirrored glass, he stands alone and yet sees his father’s eyes. He sees the fear that he once had before that man’s demise. He...
She Wants A Man
She wants a man with very big hands, Rugged, a pure thoroughbred. But who only eats organic And cries at Titanic And lets Chihuahuas...
Moments
Was it the stench of stale curry that lingered around his ‘tache? Or was it the way his nose wobbled in the wind? Sophie recalled the...
The Drunken Hump
She, career-minded, independent and bordering on fat. He, insipid in his handshake and fond of wearing ladies’ underwear. They made the...
Love Poem for the Leightons
To capture ‘love’ and wrap it up into rousing little lines Petite and sweet, is no mean feat. Yet has been done a thousand times. The...
Diddy
I’ve just doodled a picture of Jesus And I’ve just eaten five types of cheeses ‘Cause this guy here just does as he pleases But never...
Willard
“Hello Willard.” I’m instantly pissed off at the sound of his voice, and even more irritated with myself that I got up to get a coffee...
Thirty. And Counting.
Around this subject we’ve floated And even sugarcoated But the fact is, this needs to be said: Your twenties are spent Your youth’s been...
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